12-Step Programs and Peace

The twelve-step basics can help anyone—whether or not they are an addict—find peace. And aren’t many of us addicted to something--whether its worry, work, anger, computer games, television, Internet, gossip--if we are really honest with ourselves? If we’re not an addict, isn’t there some issue or problem with which we need the help of a Higher Power?

We know that twelve-step programs are invaluable for anyone struggling with an alcohol addiction, and others have been created for those dealing with drug, sex, pornography, shopping, gambling, and food addictions and that classes are available to help those whose spouses or loved ones are addicts. Please consider how the steps of the twelve step program can enhance anyone's peace of mind.

• Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.

• Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

• Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Godand

• Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves

• Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs

• Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character

• Step 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings

• Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all

• Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others

• Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it

• Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out

• Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs

Notice how the Lord proclaims His mission in Isaiah:

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

I have discovered that turning my life, my marriage, and my weaknesses over to a Higher Power brings me peace. God can heal our broken hearts, lives, and relationships as we trust in Him and submit to His will. He is the supreme Healer, Peacemaker, and Source of light and truth. Allow Him to enfold you in the arms of His love today.


© Carol Brown

When Life Is not Fair

What a month! I was called to serve on a federal jury that proved to me it is better to be judged of God than of man. Although I breathed deeply and used every stress management technique I could muster, I returned home with a heavy heart when a majority of the jurors voted for a verdict that I felt was wrong. A young women’s vehicle was hit by a driver who ran a red light, and the woman’s artificial knee joint was ruined by the impact. However, the jurors refused to compensate this woman, so she is left to purchase a $16,000 prosthetic knee on her salary as a day care worker. Truly, life is not fair.

My son, who suffers with a chronic health condition, left for basic training last month. Every time I think of him or begin to worry, I pray instead for him. That gives me peace, although I know he faces nine difficult weeks with less than optimal health.

My friend, Diane Haines, passed away last month. To say that Diane is a saint is not an exaggeration. She is one of the dearest women I know—kind, patient, full of faith, loving, compassionate—and she will be deeply missed by her husband, her ten children, her brothers and sisters, and all of us who know and love her. Amid the grief I feel at her passing, how grateful I am to know she is in a place of peace and happiness, where there is no more sorrow or suffering.

Life is not fair. People we love die. Our children suffer. Bad things happen to good people. Although we feel sorrow when we mourn with those who mourn and seek to comfort those who need comfort, yet, amid the sorrow we can find peace. We can remember that God is always just even when man is not. We can replace sorrow with serenity when we pray for those in need, including ourselves, and we can trust that a loving Father waits with open arms to welcome His children home.

So how do we deal with stress that seems unrelenting? Pray. Trust in God. Don’t try to change things that you cannot change. Surrender you worries and concerns to a Higher Power. Take time to grieve, and honor your emotions.


© Carol Brown

Learning from Suffering

“I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable,” Anne Morrow Lindbergh wrote.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh knew suffering. Her first child was kidnapped when he was 18-months old and found dead two months later. Her husband, Charles Lindbergh, once lauded as a hero for making the first trans-Atlantic airplane flight, was later vilified as being pro-Nazi when he said he admired the German Air Force. Media scrutiny and ridicule forced the couple into hiding, and they moved to a small island off the coast of France. Eventually, they moved to a secluded town in Maui, where her husband died and is buried.


So how do allow suffering to mold us into someone who is kinder, more patient, and more loving?

• When we are suffering, we can meditate and, in the process, we can surrender our pain to a Higher Power.

• We can ask, “What can I learn from this experience?” rather that cry out, “Why am I suffering so!”

• We can remember that suffering, when endured well, helps us feel great compassion for others who are suffering.

• We can allow the wisdom we learn from our life’s journey to help us bless and strengthen others.

• When we feel overwhelmed with physical pain, grief, or sadness, we can let life to teach us lessons that we would not learn in any other condition.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh said, “If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments.” She seemed to draw on power of mindfulness instinctively as she found peace amid the sorrow of losing a son and later a husband to death.

In her book, Gift from Sea, Anne wrote, “Perhaps this is the most important thing for me to take back from beach-living: simply the memory that each cycle of the tide is valid; each cycle of the wave is valid; each cycle of a relationship is valid. And my shells? I can sweep them all into my pocket. They are only there to remind me that the sea recedes and returns eternally.”

In that book she also wrote, "The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach — waiting for a gift from the sea."

What has suffering taught you? How did you learn from it?

© Carol Brown

How to Find Peace

Life can be difficult. Those we love may lose their jobs. Family members may become chronically ill. Dear friends may suffer with cancer or other critical illnesses. Personal injuries may reduce our mobility. A daughter or son may be raped by a neighbor. Trusted friends may betray us. Those we love will eventually suffer and die.

Even though we--or those we love--may suffer, we can still experience peace. Here are a few ways that enhance our peace of mind even when times are tough. Note how these ideas begin with mindfulness or positive thinking.

Allow yourself time to feel your sorrow.
After you have sufficiently grieved, release your pain to a Higher Power.
Become aware of your thoughts.
Eliminate your toxic thoughts.
Count your blessings.
Focus on the positive.
Love yourself.
Smile more.
Enjoy the simple beauties of life.
Surrender your unsolvable problems to a Higher Power.
Serve someone.
Forgive someone.
Allow God to enfold you in the arms of His perfect love.

Changing our thoughts can change our lives. We can begin our journey one day at a time or one moment at a time.

May your find peace in the journey.


© Carol Brown

The Blessings of Change

Life constantly transforms itself. Seasons come and go. Animals are born, mature, and die. Amid the constancy of God’s infinite love, we are always changing.

God allows His children the opportunity to change from sin-based to spiritually-based living. He gives us the gift of choice—to choose to become more or less like Him by the thoughts we select, the words we speak, and the actions we repeat. He gives us the tools for our journey: prayer, the Spirit, his words, and our own divine nature.

Consider the many miracles the Savior performed. He turned rebels into righteous followers, transformed prostitutes into pure disciples, and changed weak, sinful men and women into courageous, faithful leaders. Peter, who rejected the Savior, eventually led the Church. Paul, who ordered the stoning of Christ’s followers, became one of Jesus' most ardent apostles. Mary Magdalene and the Samaritan women who met Jesus at the well both knew the transformative power of the Savior’s powerful love. When we surrender our lives to God, He makes sinners into saints.

How do we change from sinner to saint? We give our hearts to God and allow Him to work His mighty miracles in our lives. When we do so, He promises, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. I will remove your stubborn hearts and give you obedient hearts.” Paul taught, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

I have seen God take troubled teens and turn them into powerful Church leaders. I have watched Him transform fearful, timid women and men into bold teachers of truth. I have felt Him working in my own life—helping me to become more patient, kind, and gentle. The lessons have often been painful and difficult, but God allows me to learn, even when I am not always the most able or willing student.

When my husband led our Church congregation of 800 souls, a woman rebelled from everything that she knew to be true. She engaged in adulterous relationships, breaking the hearts of her husband, children, and family. Eventually, she divorced her husband and invited into her home a man who was already married. My husband counseled with this woman and her lover, and after several years, the couple decided to give their hearts to God. They experienced godly sorrow for their actions and eventually turned from sin to virtue.

Today they are among the most selfless, compassionate people I know. They devote their energy and their means to blessings the lives of others. They have new hearts and have become new creatures in Christ. Once despised by them, my husband is now loved and honored by this couple, who have even asked him to speak at their funerals.

Because we are created in the image of God, He longs to help us become more like Him. He will guide us day by day, step by step in paths of peace. He will teach us how to find joy amid sorrow as we seek to walk in His footsteps.

God has given us the power to choose—to choose Him or to choose something else. He promises He will eventually bless us with everything that He has if we give our hearts to Him. He gives us so much and asks for so little.

© Carol Brown