His Yoke Is Easy

When we become acquainted with Jesus, we discover that He loves us perfectly every moment of our lives. His love is infinite, endless, and incomprehensible.  We see glimpses of it as we read His words and observe His love reflected in the actions of kind, compassionate people.  I see His love in the actions of my parents, my good husband, and my caring family and friends. Even an encounter with a kind stranger can remind us of God's love for us.

Jesus taught us that loving God, ourselves and others is the essence of his gospel.  He also reminded us that if we love Him, we keep His commandments.  His love empowers us to love ourselves and others.  His love enables us to keep His commandments and to repent when we forget to follow Him.  He has promised us that He will never leave us or forsake us.  He carries us every moment of our lives.  He is a wonderful God.

During the Savior's time, the Pharisees teachings were burdensome and harsh.  They gave people laundry lists of rules to obey, treated others harshly, and and even plotted to kill the Savior.  Their teachings or rules were called a yoke, and their yoke was heavy.

The Savior's teachings were simple.   He said:  Believe.  Trust.  Hope.  Love.  Forgive.  Be grateful.  Follow me.

He gives us the power to love Him, obey Him, and follow Him as we trust completely in Him.  His grace allows us to become all that He wants us to be.

 As we come unto Him, listen to His words, and serve Him, we discover that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Then, we will find rest for our souls and peace amid sorrow.

&copy Carol Brown

Wise Men Seek Him Still

Just as the wise men travelled far to find Jesus, we, too, can find Him and as we do, we will find peace. As we become acquainted with the Savior and seek to follow Him we discover that He is heal, comfort, and strengthen us as we face the challenges of life. He is our Rock, our Comforter, and our Prince of Peace.

As we reflect on the Savior’s life, we find that He exemplified seven qualities that create peace. As we reflect on His life and try to become like Him, we experience greater peace. As we discover who He is, we also discover what we can become.

Let’s consider seven of the Savior’s qualities that promote peace:

Humility Jesus ate with publicans and sinners. He did not seek after fame, power, or wealth, but instead spend His time serving the sick, the troubled, the disenfranchised. As we turn away from prideful behaviors and turn towards Jesus, we realize that He gives us gifts that money and acclaim cannot buy. He gives us hope, courage, faith, and love—the most priceless gifts of all.

Patience Jesus did not complain when people spat upon Him, scourged Him, and tortured Him. He did not condemn those who nailed Him to the cross and instead offered hope to thief who suffered beside Him and asked John to care for His mother. Christ is the perfect example of patience.

Kindness Jesus took the time to bless little children, heal the lepers, and minister to the outcasts. He ministered to a Samaritan woman, whom the Jews rejected because of her race, sex, and sins. He showed us that love looks beyond outward appearance and sees with the heart.

Compassion Jesus wept with them at the passing of their brother, even though He knew that He would shortly raise Lazarus from the dead. Because He suffered all things, He understands suffering and knows how to console us.

Mercy When Jesus forgave the adulterous women, we asked those who were without sin to cast stones as her. Of course, no one did. Then, he counseled the woman, “Go, and sin no more.” He forgives us when we repent and asks us to forgive all. He showed us that we should ask our Father to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Love Our Savior loved us so perfectly that He took upon Him all of our sins, sorrows, and suffering. He laid down His life for you and for me so that we can be resurrected and, if we choose, live forever with Him. We cannot comprehend the love that He has for us, but as we learn of His, we get a glimpse of His amazing love.

Faithfulness No one is a more loyal Friend or Counselor than our Savior. He promises that He will never leave us or forsake us. He tells us that He carries us every day of our lives, not just during the hard times. He is always willing to comfort, bless, and console us. Loved ones may move or pass away, friends may forsake us, but Jesus will never fail us. He loves us with an everlasting love and merely asks that we love Him in return. He gives us everything good that we have and asks for so little in return.

May you feast on the Savior's perfect love during this season--and throughout the coming year.


© Carol Brown

The Best Gift Ever Given

The best gift ever given was the gift of our Savior Jesus Christ, who willing gave His life for us that we might live forever with Him. He offered this gift because of His pure love for us. Consider how much the Father loves us: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

Consider the gifts that God bestows on us through the gift of His son:
Comfort Because Christ suffered all things, He knows how to succor us when we suffer. He understands you perfectly. He will send His Comforter to help you when you ask for His help.

Mercy

God waits to forgive you when you turn away from your sins and turn to Him, asking for His mercy. He tells us that even though our sins are as scarlet, we can become as white as snow through the power of His compassionate love.

Peace

God waits for us to approach Him in prayer and answers our prayers in ways that are best suited to our individual needs. As we cast our burdens on Him through prayer, He will give us peace of mind.

Joy

As reflect on the bounteous blessings that God has given us, our hearts are filled with joy. We rejoice in His goodness, His kindness, His love, and His tender mercies. We remember that every good gift that we receive is from God.

Solace

As we trust in God, we realize that we are not alone. God tells us that He carries us every day of our lives. He is our Father, and we are His children. He loves us with a perfect love, and that love can bind up our broken hearts and make us whole.

Love

No one loves you as much as our Savior loves you. We loved you so much that He laid down His life for you. He took all of you sins, sorrows, and suffering upon Him because of His infinite love for you personally. He rose from the grave and rules with glory and majesty. He longs for you to experience His love, to envelop you in the arms of His love. Ask Him to reveal His love to you. He will.

John wrote, "This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."

In a world that focuses on buying and getting, God asks that we open our hearts to receive His love. Then He asks us to share that love with others. He has given us the best gifts imaginable. He gave us life and the opportunity to live eternally with Him. All that He asks is that we give Him our hearts, hearts filled with obedience, humility, goodness, and love. With Paul, we proclaim, "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift."

© Carol Brown

Be Kind to Yourself

When we love and value ourselves just as we are, we empower ourselves to become all that we can be. We then can better love and value others, for we realize that everyone is a precious child of God and understand that no one is of greater or lesser value than another.

When we are kind to ourselves, we nurture ourselves,set healthy boundaries, and do not try to run faster than we can walk. When we feel compassion for ourselves, we refuse to compare ourselves to others. Because we honor our own gifts and potential, we can also celebrate the gifts and potential of others.

Consider the ways that we can be kind to ourselves:

1. Honor and respect your body. Realize that because you are wonderfully made, you do not need to compare your physical appearance to others. When you are kind to your body, you choose a healthy lifestyle. You eat nutritious foods, exercise when possible, and schedule time for sleep and rest. You do not compare yourself to others but honor and cherish your body as a precious gift from God.

2. Choose to remember kind thoughts about yourself and others. Although it is easy to think negatively about ourselves, harboring critical or shame-filled thoughts, we can recognize those thoughts when they appear and then release them. It may be helpful to memorize a positive affirmation or two to help during times when our inner dialogue becomes stuck in negative thinking patterns. Here are a few suggestions: I feel safe and protected. I am always loved. I can handle anything that comes into my life. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I am at peace in my own body. I relish in the experience of life. I transmit harmony to everyone I meet. I am whole and complete. I move easily with the flow of life. I choose to experience kindness and compassion.

3. Release shame and guilt. When we experience shame, we believe we are unworthy of love, that we are defective. When we remember that we are a divine child of God, we realize that we are innately precious and powerful. Guilt can be a healthy emotion when it motivates us to turn away from a self-destructive choice and replace it with a self-compassionate one. However, staying stuck in guilt-filled thoughts can keep us from turning away from negative behavior and turning to a Higher Power.

4. Forgive yourself. Accept the fact that because none of us is perfect, each of us will make our share of mistakes while we are on this mortal journey. We can remain stuck in our guilt, learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them, or give up trying to become whole because we refuse to forgive ourselves. As we release our need to be perfect, we can pursue a path of wholeness and peace.

5. Celebrate your talents and gifts. Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it was stupid.” Discover your gifts and then use them to bless the life of someone else. Each of us has the ability to make life more beautiful and happy not only for ourselves but for others as we develop and then share our talents.

6. Set healthy boundaries. Sometimes we are kinder to others than we are to ourselves. If we are finding ourselves burned out, worn out, or fed up with the demands of others, we need to learn to say “no,” to delegate wisely, or to pace ourselves in our efforts to meet the needs of those whom we love. We need to take the time to care for ourselves so that we can care for others in positive ways.

7. Live in a spirit of gratitude. Thank God daily for the blessings that you enjoy. Receive service and love from others with an open heart. As we recognize and appreciate the many spiritual and material gifts that we enjoy, we live in a spirit of kindness. We are less prone to compare ourselves to others, to envy others, or to criticize ourselves and others. When we are truly thankful for all that we have, we see life through the lens of contentment and peace. And, that contentment creates feelings of joy, kindness, happiness, goodness, and patience. I love the words of Meister Eckhart, who wrote, “If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.”

When we stop and think about it, isn’t everyone worthy of our kindness. Then, too, are you.



© Carol Brown

The Peace of Patience

My friend, Suzanne, who has know her share of trials and adversity, calls patience the "p" word because it sometimes seems difficult to not sweat the small stuff and to wait patiently on the Lord when life is difficult. Suzanne had undergone numerous surgeries and faces the challenges of poverty and loneliness with grace, yet some days she admits that she is too critical of herself and others. Although some are naturally patient--like my granddaught Chloe, who is amazingly patient for a two-year old, patience is a quality that each of us can develop more fully and is worth the effort.

St. Teresa of Avila, one of my favorite sages, said,

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things pass away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
He who has God
Finds he lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

Patience comes when we allow God to become our strength, our hope, and our peace, even during times of suffering. Although trusting in God doesn't always come easily, when we do, it makes our life easy. I have learned that when we rely on Christ, His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

So how do we increase in patience?

Breathe.

Before you speak or act in a negative manner, breathe deeply and ask yourself, "Does this promote peace? Is this a loving thing to say or do?" Sometimes, the most loving thing we can say is, "No. I wish I could but I can't right now." We cannot be everything to everyone and promote patience.

Focus.

Focus on God's perfect love for you. Focus of the fact that each one of us is a child of God. Picture Him as a loving Shepherd who is nourishing you, leading you beside still waters, and healing you. Picture His loving expression as He holds you in His arms. Remember that He carries you every moment of your life, not just when times are difficult, but every moment of every day.

Trust.

Give your problems, concerns and worries to God in prayer, trusting that He will carry your burdens and bind up your broken heart. Believe that God loves you more that you can even imagine and that He waits to help you face life's challenges. He longs for you to ask for His help. He stands at the door, waiting for you to knock.

Paul taught, "Be patient with all. See that no one returns evil for evil; rather, always seek what is good for each other and for all" (1 Thessalonians 5:14-15, NAB). In Galatians, patience is listed as one of the "fruit of the Spirit": "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law". (Galatians 5:21-23, NIV). In Timothy, the Bible states that "Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life".(1 Timothy 1:15-17, NIV).

May we follow the Savior's example, who forgave His enemies, served those who were forgotten or rejected, and who loved others perfectly. May we enjoy the peace of His patience.

© Carol Brown

You Are a Child of God

Imagine how peaceful the world would be if everyone remembered that each person on earth is a child of God. Imagine how much peace we would experience if we remember that we are children of God, that He numbers every hair of our heads, that we are precious in His sight. This knowledge can transform our hearts, homes, communities, and eventually our countries and the world. This truth can create peace.

Imagine what would happen if we treated ourselves as creations of divine worth. Would be speak more kindly about and to ourselves? Would we forgive ourselves when we make mistakes? Would we stop comparing ourselves with others?

Imagine how we would feel if we remember that everyone on earth is a beloved child of God. Would we cherish our neighbors, friends, family members, and even our enemies? Would we respect people of all races, religions, and cultures, people who are old, young, sick, well, different from us and similar to us?

If people throughout the world understood this simple truth, they could serve as instruments of God in healing the world.

Imagine how the world would be transformed if every child learned that he or she has infinite worth--and that every other person on earth has infinite worth as well. Imagine what would happen if children learned to serve, forgive, and comfort one another. Imagine if adults exemplified kindness, goodness, and love in their words and actions. I believe this knowledge is the foundation of peace.

Imagine if people became peacemakers, peacegivers, and peace teachers. We can begin one person at a time, one day at a time, for one life influences thousands of others. We can begin today.

May we bask in God's infinite love for us, and may we radiate that love to His other children throughout the world.






© Carol Brown

Life's Peaceful Paradoxes

We experience peace and joy when we discover and practice life’s beautiful paradoxes:

• When we give, we receive.

• When we forgive, we are forgiven.

• When we love, we are loved.

• When we serve, we are served.

• When we show mercy, we receive mercy.

• When we give peace, we receive peace.

• When we show kindness, we experience kindness.

• When we give God our hearts, He gives us His heart filled with unspeakable love.

We always receive more than we give. Gratitude, generosity, and goodness are the keys to peace. Love is the path.

May you walk in the path of peace today.

© Carol Brown

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be one of the most difficult things we ever do—and one of the most healing. For those who have suffered horrific abuse, forgiveness can take time, but once completed, it allows us freedom and peace. We are free from the bitterness, pain, and suffering that the abuser inflicted upon us. We are free to live with peace, joy, and happiness.

For huge offenses, sometimes we need a power greater than our own to forgive. Remember the story of the man lying by the pool of Bethesda for thirty-eight long years, waiting to be healed. Jesus saw the suffering man and asked him a simple but profound question, “Wilt thou be made whole?” or, “Do you want to be healed?”

At some point, we need to ask ourselves that question. “Do we want to be whole?” If we choose to remain in a state of unforgiveness, healing cannot occur in our lives. We will see ourselves as a victim which will motivate us to behave in self-defeating ways. If we make the decision to be healed, we allow a Higher Power to free us from past hurts so that we can enjoy present peace and future happiness.

The following are some suggestions from the amazing book, The Forgiveness Formula by Kathleen Griffin, a sexual abuse survivor:

• Begin by forgiving yourself.

• Write down a list of those you have not forgiven.

• Divide the list into hard and easy offenses.

• Forgive someone who is easy to forgive.

• Take your time, remembering you are in complete control about whom you will forgive and how long you take to do it.

• After you have completed the easy list, then tackle the hard one.

• Ask for help from a Higher Power as needed.

• Do not rush the process.

• Notice how much better you feel after you have forgiven.

• Use that positive energy as a motivator to continue on your journey of forgiveness.

Griffin shares this statement from A Course in Miracles that is so powerful:

What could you want that forgiveness cannot give? Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep, abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect in can never be upset? All this forgiveness offers you.

Griffen ends her book with these words: “Forgiveness is the key to all our futures. It opens a whole new world of possibilities for us all. To forgive it to say, ‘It stops here. Now. With me.’”


© Carol Brown

Live Like You Were Dying

Imagine how our lives would change if we spent every day living like we were dying. Would we savor each moment a little more? Would we feel more grateful for the blessings we enjoy? Would we be a little kinder? Would we hold onto grudges?

For many years, I have served the elderly and dying, and they have taught me so much. They have taught me not to sweat the small stuff, to celebrate the good people in our lives, and to not take myself so seriously. They have taught me how to love.

When I visit my elderly friends, they hug me and kiss my cheeks. They think I am beautiful. They belief I am smart and amazing. Why? Because they recognize the value of a human soul. They have discovered that each one of us is a child of God, a miracle.

Although my husband’s father, Bill, was an angry and abusive parent, my husband, Ken, forgave his dad completely before his dad showed remorse. Living with fear, my father-in-law beat Ken mercilessly as a child and youth. On Bill’s death bed, he asked Ken for forgiveness. Ken replied, “Dad, there is nothing to forgive.”

Even before my terminally-ill father-in-law recognized his mistakes and feel deep remorse for his parenting errors, Ken let go of the pain and sorrow of his childhood and truly loved his dad. Ken is a happy, peaceful man because he forgives, and Bill died peacefully because he knew he was loved. Truly, with love all things are possible, even forgiveness.

I love Tim McGraw song, “Live Like You Were Dying.” In the lyrics a man tells how he lived differently after he learned he might be dying. He says:

I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying.

My dad died when I was 19, but he had two precious years to enjoy each day before cancer ended his mortal life. He savored every crocus that bloomed in the spring. He listened deeply to everything I said. He told me he loved me often. And I listened to him more intently and treasured the time I spent with him.

I learned a lot from that experience.

This week try to see life through the eyes of those whose days on earth are limited. (And, in truth, aren’t all of us dying—some just a little sooner that others?) Call a friend. Visit your sister, your mother, your neighbor. Send a card. You will experience greater peace if you do.

As we savor each precious moment of life and the privilege of being with those we love, life is richer and sweeter. We find that peace was inside our hearts all along, waiting to be discovered.


© Carol Brown

The Power of Love

As children of God, we have the ability to tap into His unfathomable power and love through prayer and meditation. Although we may not obtain wealth or fame, we can experience genuine happiness, inner love, and peace of mind as we align our loving thoughts with our words and deeds. As we do so, we can make a huge difference in the lives of others.

There’s a Chinese proverb that says: “When there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. When there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house. When there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation. And when there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world.”

Love is a habit which promotes inner peace, and as we learn to control our thoughts and center our hearts on loving God, ourselves, and others unconditionally, we promote peace. Love is the greatest power in the universe. It transforms lives. It heals broken hearts. It makes us whole. Truly, with love, all things are possible.

Our western culture pretends that possessions, prestige, and prominence create personal power, but in reality, they do not. When we align our lives with God’s will and when we radiate His love to ourselves and to others, we discover that we are powerful people, and that power creates in us a sense of humility and awe. We realize that we do not need money, acclaim, or prestige to be content for the state of our spirit brings us perfect peace.

This year you might consider making love your goal. Speak only words of love to and about others. Think loving thoughts about yourself, those with whom you associate, and about God. Forgive, and discover the flood of love that forgiveness brings into your heart.

Every thought we think, word we speak, and action we perform either promotes love or damages it. The path to inner peace is only found through love. So how do we find that path?

• Mediate often on the God’s infinite love for you individually.

• Speak with kindness to and about others.

• Find fun ways to nurture yourself and others.

• Lose yourself in the joy of service.

• Take a few moments each day to breathe out stress, fears, or worries and to breathe in
love, peace, and happiness

• Live in a state of continual gratitude

• Savor the beauties around you, whether it is the smile of a child, the flicker of a candle, or the shape of a tree

• Practice mindfulness

If we sincerely strive to be a peace-giver by loving God, ourselves and others, we will create peace in our own lives, and we will also radiate that peace to others. Emmet Fox: “If only you could love enough, you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the universe.”

Each day think about love, speak loving words, and do loving deeds, and watch the power of love transform your live. I love this quote by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin: “Someday after mastering winds, waves, tides and gravity, we shall harness the energies of love. And then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will discover fire.”


© Carol Brown

"I Will Honor Christmas in My Heart and Try to Keep It All the Year"

Perhaps Charles Dickens understood the spirit of Christmas best. He realized that it is in giving, not getting, that we discover the true joy of the season. Consider some of his words in his classic story, A Christmas Carol and from his other writings.

•A repentant Scrooge says, "I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach."

"A loving heart is the truest wisdom."

"Charity begins at home, and justice begins next door."

"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else."

"Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."

"Subdue your appetites, my dears, and you've conquered human nature."

"We forge the chains we wear in life."

"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another."

"We need never be ashamed of our tears."

"There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor."

"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape."

"Remember!--It is Christianity to do good always--even to those who do evil to us. It is Christianity to love our neighbours as ourself, and to do to all men as we would have them do to us. It is Christianity to be gentle, merciful and forgiving, and to keep those qualities quiet in our own hearts... If we do this, and remember the life and lessons of Our Lord Jesus Christ, and try to act up to them, we may confidently hope that God will forgive us our sins and mistakes, and enable us to live and die in peace."


© Carol Brown

Creating Peace during the Twelve Days of Christmas

I love finding ways to make the twelve days of Christmas meaningful and peace-filled. Here are a few suggestions that can be adapted to your circumstances and completed in any way that feels comfortable to you. This year I can already completed most of these suggestions, and it has truly been a peace-filled season. As we focus of giving love instead of getting stuff, Christmas becomes a matter of the heart, an attitude that can permeate our lives each day of the year.

First day: Send an anonymous thank you note to someone in your family, at work, or in your neighborhood.

Second day: Leave a treat on the door on a widow or widower in your neighborhood.

Third day: Donate a toy to a needy child.

Fourth day: Donate some food to a Food Bank.

Fifth day: Share some gently used clothing with the homeless, the poor, or those who are abused.

Sixth day: Write a list of reasons you appreciate your spouse, brother, sister, mother, or father. Include the list in a Christmas card and send or give it to the person.

Seventh day: Reflect on the gifts and blessings that God has given you this year. Thank Him for each one of them.

Eighth day: Invite someone who is lonely to dinner, lunch, hot chocolate, for dessert, or to a free Christmas concert.

Ninth day: Read Luke 2 and reflect on God’s infinite love for you and for all of His children. Think of one way you can share His love with others and then do it.

Tenth day: Take a healthy treat to an elderly or shut-in person. Spend some time visiting with him or her.

Eleventh day: Do something kind for yourself. Take a warm bath or read something inspiration. Reflect upon the unique talents and gifts that God has given you.

Twelfth day: Today give yourself and others a priceless gift that bestows happiness, joy, and serenity to the giver: forgiveness. If you find it too difficult to forgive someone who has offended you, ask God to help you. He will. If you need time to forgive, allow yourself to process your emotions, but after you have done so, choose forgiveness, which frees you from the burden of bitterness.

May you discover that as we radiate Christlike love to ourselves and others during the holiday season, we experience the true spirit of Christmas, which is pure love.

© Carol Brown

Priceless Gifts that Cost Nothing

During the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, we can reflect on precious gifts that we can give ourselves and others are cost nothing but are priceless. Often, the best things in life are free. Although these presents aren't tied with ribbons or bows, they are more valuable that silver or gold.

• Spending quality time with a child

• Listening to an elderly person

• Visiting a lonely neighbor or someone you know who is ill or sad

• Forgiving an enemy

• Serving your spouse, roommate, or family member

• Sharing a talent

• Showing gratitude to others

• Demonstrating kindness to a stranger

• Offering encouragement to another

• Writing a cheerful note to someone you know

• Making a call to friends or relatives to see how they are doing

• Smiling to those you meet

• Turning away from sin and turning toward God’s perfect love

• Reflecting on God’s infinite love for each of his children, including yourself


As we celebrate Christmas this year, we may also consider what gifts we can give to the Savior, who gave us the greatest gift of all--His life. I love the words of Christina Rossetti:

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb,
If I were a wise man
I would do my part,
Yet what I can I give Him,
Give my heart.

May your heart be filled with peace, gratitude and love during this season in which we remember the One who gives us everything that is good.

© Carol Brown

Simple Ways to Find Peace

This week I'm teaching a class on finding peace during the holidays. This quote describes how we can keep peace in our hearts not only during the Christmas season but throughout each day of the year:

"THIS CHRISTMAS, mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion, and replace it with trust. Write a love letter. Share some treasure. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Find the time. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Listen. Apologize if you were wrong. Try to understand. Flout envy. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Appreciate. Be kind; be gentle. Laugh a little. Laugh a little more. Deserve confidence. Take up arms against malice. Decry complacency. Express your gratitude. Go to church. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love. Speak it again. Speak it still once again."


The Editors of McCall's, December, 1959

Finding Peace through Gratitude

Nothing brings us peace faster than showing gratitude to others and to God and showing compassion to yourself and others through forgiveness. Today, thank someone. Forgive someone. Notice the peace that gratitude and mercy bring.

Consider who you can thank:

• Your parents for giving you life

• Your children for allowing you to be a parent

• Your friends for standing beside you when times are difficult

• Your enemies for teaching you how to love

• Your neighbors for allowing you to be charitable

• Strangers who allow you to serve even the “least of these” among us and who teach us that everyone is truly a child of God

• Teachers who care

• Cashiers, babysitters, maids, waiters and waitresses who work so tirelessly and make such a difference in the world

• Leaders who serve with love and integrity

• Everyone who has blessed or does bless your life in small and great ways

Now, think of someone who can forgive:

• A parent who was less than perfect

• Yourself for being less than perfect

• Your friends who aren’t always there when you need them

• Your enemies who often know not what they do

• Your neighbors who are not always charitable

• Strangers who are not always kind

• Teachers who do not care

• Others who have harmed us in small and great ways

Showing gratitude. Forgiving someone. Such small acts make such a big difference in our lives. Such small acts that create a heaven on earth. Such small acts that can heal broken hearts and bring us peace.

© Carol Brown

Focusing on the Positive

Brain research indicate that we remember negative experiences more vividly than positive ones and that we notice negative interactions more intensely that positive ones. For example, if you have a good day at work and your manager praises your work but your co-worker criticizes, what will you think about when you return home? If you’ve invited family members over for a special party, will you remember the 14 you came or the 2 who didn’t show up or call?

Because it’s easy to think about and remember the bad stuff that happens it our lives, we can retrain our brains so that we can experience greater peace of mind. We do this by allowing ourselves to feel negative emotions and then releasing these feelings. As we focus on the things that are going right in our lives, we can more easily ignore the things that are going wrong.

The great news is that the brain is constantly rebuilding itself. "The brain is not like a computer that has fixed wiring and connections," says neuroscientist Michael M. Merzenich, "Every aspect of you is created by the brain revising itself in response to your interactions in the world—and I mean everything. How you define yourself—the person you are—is a product of plastic changes in your brain. That includes things that relate to your attitude and your emotional construct. What you are is a result of how your brain has tried to create a model of the world, and the brain is plastic until you die."

Since our brains are constantly rebuilding themselves, we can retrain our minds to remember the good stuff. As we notice the negative things we are telling ourselves, we can reframe our thinking and remind ourselves that life isn’t as bad as we’re pretending it is. Sure, a couple of family members may have disappointed you, but 14 showed up with a lot of love and compassion. Perhaps a co-worker was surly, but your other co-workers and your boss respect your work and treat you well. As we focus on all the positive experiences in our lives, we can put the negative ones into better perspective.

Someone once said, “Blessed are the flexible, for they will never be bent out of shape.” We become more optimistic, forgiving, and peaceful when we choose thoughts that are accepting, patient, and merciful. We can’t change other people’s behavior, but we can change the way we react to it—and it all begins with our thoughts.


© Carol Brown

Be Kind to Yourself

Thomas Kempis said, “First keep peace with yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.” We experience inner peace when we show kindness and compassion to ourselves, yet sometimes we are kinder to others than we are to ourselves. As we treat ourselves with mercy and gentleness, it becomes easier to treat others that way.

Notice the things you say to yourself throughout the day. How often do you criticize yourself? How quick are you to blame yourself for innocent mistakes?

This morning I scolded myself for driving through mud after getting my car washed yesterday. I stopped the negative self-talk when I remembered that because of road construction near our home, I had no other choice than to drive along a dirty road to get to the grocery store. Even if there was no road construction near our home, when I chose to blame myself for being human I moved from a place of love into a place of fear.

During the past week I’ve heard many of my friends and family members blame themselves for mistakes they did not make. My daughter, Melanie, a nurse, told me how frustrated she was when she was caring for a sick neighbor and did not take her to the hospital as quickly as the neighbor needed to go. The part of the story she needed to remember was they her neighbor, also a nurse, refused to go to the hospital. I reminded her that she had done the very best she could do under the circumstances. In fact, when Melanie and her doctor-husband, Chris, took their neighbor to the emergency room that night, they saved the woman’s life.

Whenever we find ourselves saying “I should have…..(taken my neighbor to the doctor sooner) or” I would have…..(prevented suffering and medical complications if I had taken my neighbor to the doctor sooner), we are not being kind to ourselves. Most of us do this far too often, but as we learn to monitor our thinking patterns, we can replace critical thoughts with compassionate ones.

Sometimes we need a loving friend to remind us to do this. However, we can also become a loving friend to ourselves and remind ourselves that we are doing the best we can with the knowledge and experience that we have. If you are tempted to berate yourself, replace that thought with something positive. Remind yourself that you are a incredible human being who is created in the image of God. Express love to yourself for the good things you are doing. Be bold. Tell yourself, “I love you. I love you unconditionally. I am perfectly and wonderfully made."

If you make a serious mistake, make amends, ask for God’s forgiveness, and then forgive yourself. Show yourself the same mercy that God shows you. Don’t dwell on your past mistakes. Instead, give yourself the same compassion that you would give your dearest friend.

Think of the many ways you can show kindness to yourself. Develop a talent. Take good care of your body. Learn something new. Do something you enjoy, whether it’s taking a nature walk, soaking in a hot tub, or reading a good book. Spend a few moments each day loving God and feeling His love for you. Write down a list of the good things you have done in your life and refer to that list if you are feeling sad.

As we fill up our own reservoirs of love and kindness, we can then radiate that love to others. "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these." (George Washington Carver)


© Carol Brown

Four Questions that Can Change Your Life

Byron Katie was consumed by anger, self-loathing, addictions, and misery. Living in a half-way house, she had a flash of insight in which she discovered that she had the power to change her life by changing her thinking. Her breakthrough, called the Work, has helped thousands move from a place of sorrow to a place of peace.

You begin the Work by writing about someone that you have not fully forgiven. You describe how this person angers, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you and why. Next, you discuss how you want the person to change and what you want them to do. After that, you tell what this person should or shouldn’t do, think, or feel. Finally, you write down what this person needs to do in order that you can be happy, what you think of them, and what is it that you don’t want to experience from this person again.

You move into a place of loving kindness and gentleness as you ask the following questions:

1. Is it true?

2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?

3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

4. Who would you be without that thought?

After you mindfully answer those questions, you then turn around your answers. For example, if you say, “My spouse does not listen to me, “ instead you say, “My spouse does listen to my spouse,” “I don’t listen to me,” and “I don’t listen to my spouse.” After considering these statements, you find three genuine, specific examples of how this turnaround is true in your life.

One might argue that this type of thinking condones violence or abuse, but, in fact, the Work speaks forcefully against abuse. Instead, it allows us to move forward in our lives by refusing to let any abusive person destroy our peace of mind. It also helps us to realize that we can become our own worst enemy when we ruminate on the faults of others without realizing that we, too, are guilty of similar behaviors.

The Work enhances the teachings of Jesus, who taught us that we cannot honestly judge others when we ourselves have similar weaknesses. He said, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye” (Matthew 7: 1-5 NIV).

This teaching can be turned around. Since God asks us to love others as we love ourselves, we discover when doing the Work that we experience sorrow when we continually berate ourselves for making mistakes that others make as well. As we show the same loving kindness to ourselves that we show to others, we experience spiritual healing. Of course, we ask for God’s forgiveness when we sin, but we also need to forgive ourselves after we have experienced His grace.

Katie reminds us that there are three types of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s. She explains that much of our suffering comes from trying to live outside of our own business. She says, “When I think, ‘You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself,’ I am in your business. When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business.”

When you practice the Work, you discover that you don’t have any business because your life runs beautifully as you detach from your negative thinking. You also discover that the way that you view and judge others is a reflection of your own thinking. As we release others from judgment, we free ourselves as well.

Katie offers some free worksheets to help you get started. You can find them at http://www.thework.com/downloads/worksheet. She teaches us that suffering can challenge us to inquiry and that as we discover the truth about our thought-induced suffering, we recognize that we no longer need people and situations to change in order to find peace. Peace is inside us, waiting to be found.

© Carol Brown

Peaceful Living in a Stress-filled World

We live in a world that will destroy our peace if we let it. Media often sensationalizes contention, conflict, and crisis. Sometimes even turning in the television or radio can plant seeds of worry or fear in our hearts.

In his book God's Power to Change Your Life, Rick Warren describes three types of peace. The first is spiritual peace or peace with God. Romans 5:1 say, “Since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” As we seek to know and love God better, we experience more of his peace.

Next comes emotional peace. Colossians 3:15 says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since….you were called to peace.” I love the thought that God wants to call us to peace, to give us peace. I picture Him with open arms asking us to come to Him, that we might have peace. Remember that shortly before Christ was crucified, He told His disciples, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Third, we need relational peace or peace with other people. Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” I have discovered that when I seek to strengthen my relationship with God, I experience greater emotional and relational peace.

So how do find the perfect peace that God wants us to experience? Rick Warren suggests that we can do five things.

First, we find peace when we obey God’s principles found in his Word. The psalmist says, “Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble….I obey your statutes, for I love them greatly” (Ps. 119: 165, 167). God has taught us the secret to living a peaceful life, and we discover those secrets as we read his words.

Next, if we want peace, we must accept God’s pardon, his forgiveness and release from punishment. We suffer torment and misery when we fail to repent of our sins and experience the healing power of forgiveness. Micah 7:18 says, “Who is a god like you, who pardons sins and forgives…transgression?...You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.”

Third, we must focus our thoughts and hearts on God. Isaiah 26:3 says, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” What an amazing promise! I have discovered that when I lose my feelings of peace, I am focusing on problems, concerns, worries, or fears and have forgotten to focus on God. As we always remember God and recall His infinite love for us, we experience His peace.

Next, to experience God’s peace, we must trust in Him. Proverbs 3 5-6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (NKJV). I know that when I trust completely in God, I allow Him to guide me and comfort me. This is not always easy to do, but as we remember that He knows and loves us more than we can imagine, we can begin to accept His will in our lives, even when we do not understand the meaning of all things.

Finally, we need to ask God for peace. In Phillippians 4, Paul tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (vv. 6-7, emphasis added.)

I have discovered that sincere and earnest prayer can overcome worry. Jesus told his disciples, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God trust also in me” (John 14:1). Rick Warren reminds us, “You will not experience true or lasting peace until Jesus Christ is in charge of your life. Remember: peace is not a trouble-free life; it is a sense of calm in the midst of life’s storms.”

All of us experience trials that would destroy our peace. As we give our worries to God in prayer and allow Him to direct our lives, we will find peace. Perhaps the Serenity Prayer can help you to do this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

As we obey God’s teachings in His Word, accept His forgiveness, focus our thoughts on Him, trust in Him, and ask for His peace, He will give us peace. Then, we can meet the sorrows of the world with serenity, knowing that God is walking beside us and that He will direct our paths for good.

© Carol Brown

Replacing Suffering with Peace

Although some suffering may not be eliminated in this life—including pain and illness, other suffering can be greatly reduced and even eliminated by the thoughts we choose. As we live mindfully, we can find peace amid the difficulties that we experience.

Buddhists teach that three negative traits or fundamental evils, which are called the Three Poisons, create human suffering. They include greed, anger, and ignorance.

• Greed includes any pleasure that we seek that destroys our happiness, including stinginess, envy, lack of compassion, and pursuing anything in an unhealthy manner, including wealth, fame, sex, eating, and sleeping. We replace greed with generosity and gratitude. We can compare this to Christ’s temptations in the wilderness. After he had fasted for forty days, Satan tempted Jesus to turn stones into bread, jump from the pinnacle of the temple and achieve instant fame, and to receive the kingdoms of the worship if He worshiped Satan. We know that Jesus sounded rejected all three temptations.

• Anger includes hatred, rage, resentment, animosity, and aversion. If we truly follow the Golden Rule and if we seek to love others and we love ourselves, we can eventually eliminate anger from our lives. Paul taught the Ephesians, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour (brawling), and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted (compassionate), forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” When Jesus forgave those who crucified Him, saying, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” He showed us how we can conquer this human tendency.

• Ignorance includes delusion, not knowing our true nature, pride, and failing to recognize that every action has a cause and an effect. When we remember that we are children of the most high God, that everyone we meet is a child of the divine, and that we are nothing without God but that with Him, all things are possible, we reduce our ignorance. We live with understanding and wisdom, realizing that as when we serve others, we are serving God and that as we sow, we reap. Eastern religions would define this latter concept as the law of Karma. In his classic book, As a Man Thinketh, James Allen says, “Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results. Bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is but saying that nothing can come from corn but corn, nothing from nettles but nettles. Men understand this law in the natural world, and work with it. But few understand it in the mental and moral world (though its operation there is just as simple and undeviating), and they, therefore, do not cooperate with it."

Dr. Rick Hanson describes a situation that shows how avoiding or choosing the Three Poisons can effects our peace of mind. He said that after returning home from work and finding the home a mess, he could chose greed (becoming rigid in how we want things to do), choose anger (becoming bothered and upset), or choose delusion (taking the situation personally.) Or he could choose peace by ignoring the mess, picking it up calmly, or talking to his children about the situation and kindly enlisting their help (Buddha’s Brain.)

In The Art of Happiness, the Dalai Lama, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize says, “We also often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, overreacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally. We tend to take small things too seriously and blow them up out of proportion, while at the same time we often remain indifferent to the really important things, those things which have profound effects on our lives and long-term consequences and implications.”

In every thought, we choose peace or something else. The study of the brain reveals that the flow of our thoughts actually sculpts the brain. By choosing thoughts of love, kindness, patience, and goodness, we can retrain our brain until we not only find peace amid sorrow, but we can replace sorrow with peace.

© Carol Brown